46 Comments

Thank you for sharing, Pamela. With the change in seasons around the corner, perhaps positive and kind changes will follow.

Expand full comment

Thank you Neil, that is my hope as well.

Expand full comment

The struggle is real. I feel you... so many of our age face similar situations. Not easy. Praying that all will work out well for you.

Expand full comment

Thank you Anne. The struggle is very real where I live. There are far too many homeless seniors in this area and elsewhere. Something better than where I am will come along.

Expand full comment

Living in an unstable world or living situation takes its toll. Pamela, take good care of yourself and know your readers care about getting you settled in your next home fast.💕💕

Expand full comment

Diane, It does take a toll. I am craving sleep and not sleeping as well. Back to the search tomorrow and hopefully this get solved soon.

Expand full comment

…K I N D N E S S is the blessing in this world that brings S U N S H I N E in the shadows of L I F E 💝🌻💝

…it AMAZES me how those bulbs 🌷BURST through the SNOW ❄️ while in SUNNY ☀️ Australia my bulbs are pushing up RIGHT NOW through sunlit soil & it still BRINGS JOY 🤩 to my day 🥰 …there’s something so BEAUTIFUL about a BULB peeping out to say HELLO 👋 after so long UNDERGROUND 🌷🪻🌷

Expand full comment

Thank you Jenny! Yes it is amazing that bulbs push right through the snow! I love to see them. It's always a joy! Thanks for chiming in! 🥰🤩

Expand full comment

Pamela, I pray that the kindness you give to the world will be returned to you.

Expand full comment

Thank you Rod! I share that prayer. Things will hopefully start to shift soon.

Expand full comment

I'll pray that you find a place to replant and rehome all the best you carry with you.

Expand full comment

Thank you so much Jonathan! I am way overdue to move from here. I just need a place of my own to move to!

Expand full comment

All struggles are real. Yours is mine are. Humans have peaks and arroyos without end.

Aren't we glad we are alive!

Expand full comment

Jill, We are glad we are alive! Thank you!

Expand full comment

Absolutely! Life is full of highs and lows, but even in the hardest moments, there’s something beautiful about simply being here, experiencing it all. What’s been bringing you the most joy lately?

Expand full comment

Blue skies!

Expand full comment

Dear Pamela, I so resonate with the difficulties you are facing. It takes a huge amount of inner strength to face these times. My thoughts and prayers and wishes for HOME for you are being sent over the ocean from NZ.

Home is everything. Home gives safety and grounding. From Home all else that we want to give to the world can be nourished.

It does sound like getting away from that landlord will be a good thing, although of course this thought is not helpful when you are full of fear for an unknown future.

Your Next Beautiful Home is in the process of manifesting itself. I found that when I finally had no where to live and was out of the place that my children and I had rented and called home for 8 years, suddenly doors started opening. People came into my life, things shifted, opportunities showed themselves. It's like the Universe was waiting for a clear space to really get creating!

And Pamela, we have to ask for help! We have to. We have to make it clear that we need help - notes on shop notice boards, community face book pages..... Use your gifts to bring your new home to you. Offer to write something for the Senior Housing trust for them to share with others in your position, write on a community facebook page. Add in your beautiful nature photos and wisdom. Bring your beauty and your kindness to the page and spread the word and let the world know what you want. Share what you love about the area you have lived in for so long and that you are determined to stay there and offer your kindness to the local community.

Your HOME is winging it's way to you. ❤️❤️❤️ 🏡🏡🏡xxx

( sorry for the very long comment but I am passionate about this situation and I know the intense stress that this will be having on you at the moment).

Expand full comment

Jo, Thank you for your care and I know, understanding from having been in this place yourself. I think I shared with you that I am here, in this place after being without a place of my own in 2018, so the hope and prayer is of course to not repeat that. I've made so many phone calls to social workers and other agencies that are supposed to help seniors and so far that hasn't helped much. Most of them tell me to do things I have already done. I sure you are familiar with that too.

When the place is there for me it will happen. Divine intervention I suppose. In the meantime, I join you in being passionate about this this issue. Sending big love and hugs your way! ❤️❤️ I hope you are getting settled. Please PM me and let me know how things are for you!

Expand full comment

I find kindness to be like a boomerang. Your words and photographs exude this. I’m always in a calmer spot after reading your post. Breathe in…breath out…Repeat. Hugs.

Expand full comment

Monica, Thank you so very much. That I am bringing peace and calm to my friends and readers here means a lot to me. Thanks for the hugs! Sending hugs to you too!

Expand full comment

What an honest essay, Pamela. “Be kind, I say to everyone, often as I endure through and hide the sadness in my heart.” That was powerful to read. Things will go your way.

Your kindness is so apparent here on Substack, it permeates every interaction I have with you. Life can be so turbulent. You will find more certainty as to your next place, and I hope you are able to garden and make it into a nest. At least you always find solace in nature. Wishing you nothing but positivity and good things.

Expand full comment

James, Thank you so much. I felt it really important when writing this to speak my heart, because moving in itself is hard enough, but not knowing where you might live, is another. I've moved too often in my life. This is much harder to have to move like this. A place with a little yard where I can garden would be the most ideal of circumstances for me to nest.

Expand full comment

Thank you for the kindness of this moving post, Pamela. I really like the reflection in the puddle photo and hope that the refracted light helps lead to a new and improved home for you. A new garden for you, a new Spring.

Expand full comment

Thank you Heidi. I'm never good with uncertainty, although I recognize that nothing is ever truly certain... But you know what I am. The unknown and the what if's right now are not easy. I think a new place to live with a little yard for a garden would be wonderful. Fingers crossed.

Expand full comment

We're sending good vibes for that home for you!

Expand full comment

Thank you Heidi! And a new cat too...

Expand full comment

Definitely, the cat!

Expand full comment

Pamela, I understand your struggle to find housing, sending you positive thoughts and encouragement.

Your kindness is a light to us all 🕯️

Expand full comment

Boho, I know you understand. Thank you, I appreciate your support and friendship here today and every day!

Expand full comment

I'm continuing to send prayers into the Universe that the perfect place will become available to you Pamela. This is so hard.

Expand full comment

Thank you Donna. It all feels quite absurd like other things happening in the Universe at the moment. I appreciate your prayers and support. I look forward to being able to share good news soon!

Expand full comment

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 you find housing soon.

Expand full comment

Thank you so much Toby!

Expand full comment

Pamela, you are a wonderful person and do not deserve to be treated in this disrespectful way. I wish I lived out there so I could be of some help. But at this point in my life and with my fractured hip, I am just not able to do so. You are in my prayers and I want you to know that. I am with you all the way. I wish you could move out here to the west but even here I don’t think I can be of much help. Also, this is far from your daughterand at this point not a good choice. Please keep us updated on how you are doing.

Expand full comment

Allan, Thank you for your kind thoughts and words. I am okay, and honestly just waiting while I let this whole mess play out. It seems wrong minded to me but I am working with some folks whose job it is to help. Fingers crossed and prayers for all of it. Also how are you faring with your fractured hip? I am so sorry that happened.

Expand full comment

I see the orthopedist next week. Of course I will keep you updated. Please be well.

Expand full comment

I hope it all goes well Allan!

Expand full comment

Pamela, I too am watching my tulips sprout, and they give me hope. I’ve planted all of mine in pots on my patio so I can see them from my constant prone position on the couch.

Dig those babies up and take them with you.

Once, when I left a brutal marriage with no place to go, I was able to get longer term price at a long stay suites type motel. I needed anonymity and safety. This got me both.

This particular one didn’t offer a one night rate since it was mostly studios and one bedroom efficiencies. The studio was all I needed. Bathroom, kitchenette with frig, microwave, fully stocked with dishes and a coffee maker! There was a queen sized bed, a table and chairs and one very comfy recliner. I put almost all my stuff in storage, and moved in. I bought a small toaster oven, and I was set!

I was there for six months. Tho I had zero idea how long I might need to live there, initially I signed a three month lower cost lease. I got to know the managers and owners who grew to be sympathetic to my situation, and they allowed me to remain there in a month to month basis at the lower rate I first had signed up for the three months.

Most one bedroom apartments around here cost $2500 per month to rent. This long term stay suites cost $1000 per month and it was worth every single dime.

I spent every night after work and all weekends looking for a home. Eventually I found one. I would have stayed longer if I had not found “my spot”.

Expand full comment

Teyani, I am so glad you have some tulips to watch sprout too! They really are a flower that is filled with hope. They’ve always been one of my favorite flowers.

Part of my problem is finances, I live on less than $1000 a month which is the reason for needing to move to affordable senior housing. Also in a rural, coastal area so rentals like that will soon be for vacationers. I’m glad you were able to find that solution when you needed it. I am looking around for alternatives while I wait.

I’m in a rock and hard place situation at the moment. I appreciate any all suggestions and of course good wishes and good energy sent my way!

Expand full comment

So sorry I offered yet another unhelpful thought.

I wish that I could be a helpful assistant from afar, an extra pair of eyes, and ears. But it seems not.

I’ll try not to offer more unhelpful ideas.

Please know I’m sending deep healing energy that something better arrives now.

Expand full comment

Teyani, your suggestion is very viable and maybe an option at some point. I truly appreciate your willingness to help me brainstorm some ideas. Thank you! 💞

Expand full comment